My Testimony

Physically, I was born the middle child of three to a family full of heritage and deep convictions. I grew up surrounded with love, nurtured by a gentle father who was a third generation psychiatrist and a mother who was creative and energetic. We had a very close-knit extended family with regular gatherings. My childhood years left an indelible mark – a sense of identity, security and belonging. We were taught that fulfillment comes through meeting the needs of others, and religion was just one of the many ways by which these needs were met.

I was a fourth generation Seventh Day Adventist. My family lived across the street from my cousins, uncles, aunts, and grandparents who lived across from the family-owned psychiatric hospital (that great-grandfather established), which was down the street from the Seventh Day Adventist church, next to the Adventist church school, across the street from the vegetarian health food company, all of which were run and supported by my family & the Seventh Day Adventists (and no, we are not Italian).

A ”storybook” life could aptly describe my childhood. I did not know, or need to know, anything outside of my comfortable little world. As you can imagine, there was a lot of emphasis on values, family, tradition, and God. In many ways, it was similar to a Mormon community. We read parts of the Bible along with the writings of Ellen G. White (the Adventists’ modern day prophetess who lived in the 1800’s). The SDAs (as we called ourselves) place a lot of emphasis on physical, mental and spiritual health. "To Make Man Whole" is their creed and my family, a product of The SDA System, devoted their lives to the medical-missionary field, i.e. evangelizing the unAdventist and healing the sick. So, with a good family, good education, and good religion, my life was “pretty good“ (so it seemed).

As a teenager, Sabbath school consisted of playing guitars and singing. We would share stories of suffering for the sake of the Sabbath and, of course, rehearse the do's and don'ts (what was “keeping the Sabbath” and what was not).

We talked of Jesus Christ, but for some reason, I cannot recall ever hearing the word "grace" outside of the song “Amazing Grace.” Any mention of Christ and the cross seemed to always take a back seat to Adventist doctrines like soul sleeping, temperance, vegetarianism, Sabbath issues, or how to recognize the signs of the end times and be prepared to survive the tribulation and persecution that will follow when the Pope passes the "Sunday law" (a mandate to worship only on Sunday) – get the picture? We were the remnant few that the Bible speaks about, the 144,000. I blindly accepted these doctrines not based upon the Word of God but upon the supplementary writings of Ellen G. White and whatever fit my own elitist philosophy. However, the Apostle Paul writes:

Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world and not after Christ. (Colossians 2:8)

Instead of studying the Scriptures to see whether these things were so, I used bits and pieces of Scripture, whatever verses would fit into the Adventist beliefs. I remember struggling over many contradictions and unanswered questions, trying to make God into what we wanted Him to be, and thus it was as the Bible says, I had

…a zeal of God, but not according to knowledge. For they being ignorant of God's righteousness, and going about to establish their own righteousness, have not submitted themselves unto the righteousness of God. For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to every one that believeth. (Romans 10:2-4)

At age 12 I was baptized into the SDA Church. I understood that baptism was not a means of salvation but that water baptism was a condition for entrance into the Remnant church, the Seventh Day Adventist Church. Like most of us, I never questioned why I needed to be a member, and out of ignorance, I figured it increased my odds with God. So, on the 29th day of March in 1969, I was immersed and received into the Adventist faith along with the “sacred obligation” of renouncing the world and sin, promising that I would uphold my vows of temperance, and that I would remain loyal to the church. (Basically, I would try my best to work my way to Heaven from that day forward.)

In 1970, around the beginning of the so called "Jesus movement," I chose to go to public school instead of the SDA academy because I observed that my older brother had enjoyed the many witnessing opportunities in public high school. I, too, liked the idea of taking on the world and winning souls to Adventism. I held a sense of pride in my Sabbath-keeping religion which clearly set me apart from mainstream Sunday-wrong-day Christians, and I was not afraid to show it! Just to sharpen my religious convictions, I began to attend my public high school’s Friday morning Bible studies. I could argue with the best of them, but for some reason I could not get through to the "born again" believers. They were stuck on this "grace issue" and unable to answer my question about the Sabbath, at least to my satisfaction. To this day, I can still recall how frustrated I would get with them. In Bible beating fashion, I would quote the fourth commandment. "Remember the Sabbath day to keep it Holy" and I would end with "If you love me, keep my commandments!" They showed me verses from Colossians 2:14-17 and asked me why I would want the shadow of things to come when I can have the real thing – Jesus Christ! They softly and calmly showed me a verse that had something to do with grace and another that said that I needed to be born again first. The Sabbath day I kept had nothing to do with my relationship with Jesus they said, but “every day is a day of rest for true believers.” Every moment is "rest" in the Lord Jesus Christ when you have trusted in his completed work on the cross. Oh, if only I would have listened!

For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness: but unto us which are saved it is the power of God. (1 Corinthians 1:18)

They preached the cross, and I was lost! They prayed for my salvation which only infuriated me because “I wasn't the one who needed God’s grace – they did! After all, they were not obeying Him by ignoring the Sabbath!” Needless to say, by the time I graduated from high school, I was a religious rebel without a cause.

In the tradition of my family, I left my hometown of Worthington, Ohio, to return to my birthplace in Southern California and attend Loma Linda, a Seventh Day Adventist University. I sang just about every Sabbath on stage at one church or another. I thought I was singing to God’s glory, but I knew deep down that I was really only glorifying myself. God was talked about, sung about, and even read about, but Ellen G. White, and her “three angels message,” studies of the last days, and the investigative judgment prevailed. I was scared to death! This was the kind of God I was worshipping: A God who had me on a string and if I broke the Sabbath (“the seal of the living God”), or if I committed the unpardonable sin (turning my back on God), I was a goner… and for me, this was not good news!

If only God’s standards were the same as mine, it would be no problem, but I knew they were not. I rationalized, “He had to save some of us.” Certainly, I thought, my sincerity would count for something. Maybe, if my “good” outweighed my “bad,” I would be in! But how faithful did I have to be? How good was good enough?! (I was a regular at every altar call.)

By the time I finished a year of teaching and two more years of graduate school, I began to see religion as an impossible quest. At least my friends who had left the church were honest about their lives. How could anyone live up to keeping all those commandments anyway?

Tired of living a charade, I left the Church, put God on the back burner, and became a part “of the world.” Something I never thought could happen to me! Ironically and unbeknown to me, I was on the broad road that leads to Hell, as it talks about in Matthew 7:13-14. Now I was just switching lanes from the religious to the moral lane, with side-trips into the immoral lane, all of which were still on the broad road (described in Romans 1-3).

Ten years went zooming by, ten years down the road with a lot of swerving from lane to lane. Then along came Gary.

We were both working at Ohio State University Hospital. Gary was finishing his residency, and I was working in the Pulmonary Division. After two years of dating, we married and decided to start a family. Before we met, Gary had lost his first wife and baby in a tragic car accident, so I eagerly wanted to fill that void and fulfill our dreams together by having a child. We tried to get pregnant but to no avail. We went through six more years of disappointment, loss, despair, and every self-help book I could find. After we exhausted our resources, as a last resort I turned to God; that’s right, God became “my last resort”! I prayed for the first time in years and through a series of events, our son Austin was born. Little did we know that all of these events were part of God’s plan that would lead us to an even greater need, our salvation.

I did not know that I was lost; I did not know that I needed to be saved, but God knew and He was waiting patiently for me to turn and trust in His Son alone. He alone would fill the void in my life!

In 1992, with a severely broken leg, a new baby boy, two dogs and a cat, Gary and I moved to Duluth, Minnesota. I was not sure why we made this move, yet God knew why and in His sovereignty sent someone to share the Gospel of salvation with us.

It was a September day, one that I will never forget. We hired a painter to paint our house. His name was Dave. We started talking, and I told him that I felt responsible for my child's spiritual upbringing – I wanted our son to have religion and be raised a Christian. Dave then asked, "Oh, you’re a Christian? A born-again believer?" I thought, ”Oh no, I’ve been through this before; he's one of those.” I replied, "Yes, I'm born again every day," (thinking that would get him off my back). He looked puzzled and asked, "How are you born every day?" "Well," I said, "I just ask Jesus into my heart, and I try to live a good life." Dave then told me the bad news:

All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23)

There is none righteous, no not one. (Rom. 3:10)

All our righteousnesses are as filthy rags. (Isaiah 64:6)

Wow! I was dumbfounded. I had never heard that before! He then proceeded to show me the good news.

These things have I written unto you that believe in the name of the Son of God that you may know you have eternal life. (1 John 5:13)

What did that say? That you could know for sure that you are going to heaven simply by believing? How could I have missed seeing that? My religion taught me that it was self-righteous to say you "know” you are going to heaven – you know right now you have everlasting life. I thought salvation was based on God plus me; and since I was the weakest link, at best, I had only a hope-so salvation! Dave said, “Sylvia, God wants you to know now that you are saved and have eternal life; that’s why He wrote that.” I then got out my own Bible and Dave showed me:

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. (Romans 6:23)

I also read out loud these words:

For by grace are ye saved through faith and that not of yourselves, it (salvation) is a gift from God not of works lest any man should boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

Double WOW! That one really did it! "Lest any man should boast….” That was me. I thought I was better than most, and I would have reason to boast (at least some of the time). I had been banking on ME, MY faithfulness to God. I could not sleep that night as the words went repeatedly through my head, "Lest any man should boast… lest any man should boast… for by grace are ye saved.” The next morning I asked Dave, “What does ‘grace’ mean?” He explained to me that grace is undeserved kindness or favor and salvation is a gift that I could not work for. God is not a debtor to man. I, along with every other human being, deserved Hell, but by simply trusting in Christ and His substitutionary work on the cross, I could be saved and know that I was going to Heaven. Salvation was based on God’s promise; His word, His work, not mine. Being born again is just like when I was born at a point in time into my family. I am born spiritually into the family of God, and just like I cannot be physically unborn, I cannot be spiritually unborn. The moment I believe, Christ is received and I am sealed with the Holy Spirit who indwells me until the day of redemption (Ephesians 1:13, 4:30).

Remember those unanswered questions and contradictions? For the first time in my life, I had an explanation. As an SDA, I was never fully satisfied with the answer as to why the thief on the cross was promised Paradise, even though he had never repented from his sins. My Sabbath school instructor told me “the thief was an exception.” But according to the truth I was now seeing the thief was not an exception but, in fact, a perfect example of how one is saved by simply believing – changing one’s mind about Jesus Christ and what He accomplished.

All of sudden I realized this was the same Gospel I did not want to listen to in high school that emphasized God’s grace. The same Gospel, twenty years ago, that in my religious pride I flat out rejected. Dave invited Gary and me to attend the Duluth Bible Church. The next Sunday we went and heard the same Good News of “the Gospel.” Pastor Rokser taught that people and religion make sin the issue when in fact, Christ took care of sin so the issue now was not my sin but rather the Savior. What did I think of Him? Did He pay for all of my (past, present and future) sins or not! (John 3:16-18)

I listened intently, and not once did I see a contradiction. The Word of God proved itself! The more I heard the more questions I had. The more questions, the more answers, until one Sunday I asked Pastor, "You mean to tell me that like the thief on the cross I do not have to change to get saved?” “No,” he said, “Sylvia, you don't have to do a thing to be saved.”

For what saith the scriptures? Abraham believed God, and it was counted unto him for righteousness. Now to him that worketh is the reward not reckoned of Grace, but of debt? But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness. (Romans 4:3-5)

Pastor then said, “Sylvia, salvation is not a reward for good people; it is a free gift for sinners!”

What a relief it was to know that I did not have to try and fool God or anyone else for that matter ever again! God accepted me as the sinner I am. These words still ring in my ears today: "The only thing you give up is Hell!" "Today is the day of Salvation!" "If you don't know, you don't go!" BOOM, it hit me!! If I were to die tomorrow before I made up my mind, I would be in Hell for eternity. This was a serious issue, dead serious, and I needed to settle it once and for all!

Thank God that He is not willing that any should perish. The Lord is not slack concerning his promise… not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9).

Spiritually I was born six years ago when I placed my trust in Christ alone. I did nothing to deserve salvation. In fact, I know I deserve Hell, but God in His love saved me anyway by bankrupting Heaven. It cost me nothing, but it cost my Heavenly Father everything… the precious blood of His only begotten Son! (2 Corinthians 8:9 and 1 Peter 1:19)

At last I can sing these words with joy: "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me; I once was lost, but now am found, was blind but now I see. 'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, 'twas grace my fears relieved, how precious did that grace appear the hour I first believed!" I finally found real Sabbath rest – not in a day of the week, but in my Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ. (Hebrews 4:9-10) ¢

Sylvia, Gary, and Austin Kindt live in Duluth, MN and attend Duluth Bible Church.